A PULPIT TOO HIGH

During the last few weeks we’ve witnessed an avalanche of accusations of sexual harassment come forth. As everything in any human society it started with one or two isolated incidents only to turn into a daily parade of celebrities and powerful people whose lives are ruined in hours. It would be useful to analyze some of the arguments in favor and against the current uncertainty thus created; and the name is uncertainty since each morning we wake up wondering who will be thrown to the lions.

As human beings we are all against forced sex upon defenseless individuals (usually women) but many question the timing and coincidence of so many different cases ranging from mere “innocent” sexual innuendo to physical violation of a person, and we cannot lose sight of the fact that there are quite a few gold diggers out there ready to do and say anything for a buck or a day of fame. There is always the shameful political manipulation of one party against the other and even within each party, there is manipulation of one faction against the other. When I read of the lady accusing Bush 41 of “recent” butt groping while posing for a picture I almost felt sick, to me it was a disfavor to the cause of so many abused people and a publicity stunt; fortunately the public opinion seems to have shared my view and the former president, at the very sunset of his life, for now faces no legal repercussions. Let’s face it: we all have a grandpa who talks about sex while physically incapable of enjoying it anymore as we do have a grandma who constantly sparkles our lives with her dirty jokes; I may be naive but I place that within the realm of old age prerogatives. You’re about to kick the bucket and you are given a larger latitude than it is granted to younger folks.

Having said all that and knowing there will be several unfairly ruined reputations before we reach the end of the tunnel I honestly believe this juncture was long overdue. What women have to go through in order to keep a job, to move forward and to fulfill the American dream is known only to them. From the undeserved heights of our gender superiority we have no moral authority to judge them nor do we have the life long experience inflicted upon us to decide how far is too far. For centuries we have lived in a man’s world ruled by man’s rules and governed by man’s logic; male hypocrisy and double standards are not only unfair but appalling and the truth is that the mere thought of losing our ancient privileges makes us cry foul and whine; whichever injustices we may have to face now, and they are indeed unfortunate, are nothing compared to the hell women have lived in for centuries. This marks nothing but the end of an era of complicity (of which so many women are also responsible), inertia and male chauvinism. Yet, we wittingly in some cases, unwittingly in others, try to salvage as much of our kingdom as possible by claiming we are being treated unfairly and we arrogantly still try to put the boundaries of what should and should not hurt, insult or even bother a woman. There are men of the caliber of Charlie Rose and Bill O’Reilly who, from different perspectives helped shape our vision of the world, they were role models for so many, and confronted with their betrayal to all of us some still feel their punishment is too harsh; as if a person’s past made a crime somewhat benign. I myself looked for ways to exculpate O’Reilly and came up with one alibi after another until I cleaned up my nose and said: “shame on you” our hearts should invariably be with the victims. Like so many other men I missed the very point of this tragedy. Even as I draft this article most of us still believe that since man’s superiority and the proverbial role of female submission were the old normal everything that happened before this wave of scandals somehow gets a pass except for cases of brutal rape. We should be ashamed of ourselves. And it goes without saying that when I speak of women I basically mean any individual of any gender, natural or perceived, who has at any time in her/his/its life felt the burning burden of unwanted hands invade their “humanity”.

As a Hispanic male I was part of the androgen elite; during the late seventies in Cuba it was normal and even cool for male youths to force themselves upon girls; we called it then “meterle una fuerza” and while in some cases the girl’s resistance was part of the role playing that lies at the very base of our culture, there were cases when the outrage was genuine and sincere, but we made no distinction, it was the manly thing to do. In hindsight that mentality and my being part of it is one of the many mistakes I won’t live long enough to get over.

Eventually common sense will prevail and women will overcome the temptation to capitalize or use the past to destroy people. Cooler heads will come up with more sober frameworks and laws; I am very sorry for those men who will see their lives unfairly trashed and their careers abruptly ended; but as much as many of us may suffer while some normalcy is finally reached I think this current turbulence is worthwhile if it means that no more women are forced to feel their eyes filled with tears and scrub their skins under the shower blaming themselves for having been deprived of their right to say NO.